Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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