Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
