The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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