That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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