If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
