It's Friday. Sex?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
