South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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