Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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