The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize