I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
