so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
