Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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