there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
