I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
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Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
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you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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