I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
