it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
