her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
