I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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