That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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