Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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