i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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