do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I love having hate sex.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
