so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
