stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
