Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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