Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
