Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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