you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
