I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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