I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
