I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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