the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
