Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
