and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Come see our sink grown plant.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
