so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
