I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
