Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
