I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
