Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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