Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
smell my finger.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
