i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
this just has baby written all over it
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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