my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize