He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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