you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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