Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
