she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
is it fun? or sober?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
