You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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