so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
