Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
