I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
