I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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