i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
