The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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