I think I can smell my own vagina right now
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
