some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
