a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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