"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
