why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
