Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
