Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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